Why Mika Satisfies

Awful. Just awful. Take a long break from writing a blog, and when you come back, all you have to offer is… Mika de cojones?

Take it or leave it. I had to get re-started somehow.

It all started when I innocently entered a small clothing store. By the way, I firmly believe that clothing stores — from giants such as H&M and Esprit to small boutiques — perpetrate mediocrity through their mindless, casual and constant diffusion of empty pop, faux R&B and brain-freezing trance gob to their browsing clientele. If clothing stores and hair salons aren’t outlawed quickly, on a global scale, civilization will be brought down completely. Think of it as my own Inconvenient Truth.

That goddamn “Rain” song was playing. Goddamn I find Mika’s singing irritating. The way he pushes those falsettoes out through his nose, sounds like some spoiled brat taunting you on the playground. “Nyah, nyah, nyah-NYAH-nyah!” If I were his babysitter I’d slap that mouth of his shut. So annoying.

And now I can’t get the goddamned song out of my head. ‘Cause even though he irritates me, I like the song.

His silly little candy pop songs satisfy. Those harmonics and arpeggios, the use of dynamics, the way it builds… perfect for the gym! Perfect for catching an airplane or putting out a fire! Gets you excited! Really!

Makes me want to jump up and down, trashing the clothing store, throwing racks of sweaters and blouses to the floor, then smashing the plate-glass window with one blunt KICK and jumping out onto the street, killing passersby with long, jagged shards of broken glass. “Nyah, nyah, nyah-NYAH-nyah!”

I fucking love it. I really do.

Oops, the corporate giants don’t allow insertion of the video. You’ll have to click on this link. Come on, do it. Take that one extra step and prove you’re a total sucker.

Besides: you gotta give props to someone who puts a discotheque in the middle of a forest.