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A Perfect Few Minutes in Barcelona

I love it when I’m walking down the street on the way to do some boring errand, and then I happen upon something like this. Un regalito de la vida diaria.

Locked Out of My Office With No Pants: CONCLUSION

I knock on the door. The sound of footsteps as someone approaches, then silence.

Right now, whoever it is is probably staring at me through the peephole and thinking, “What the fuck??!”

Then I hear whispers that sound like hushed argument. Probably along the lines of, “Are you gonna answer it?” “No, YOU answer it!” “Why should [...]

Locked Out of My Office With No Pants

Rachel in the plaza of the World Trade Center wearing no pants, New York City, 1997.

Last weekend I was working in my office, which I rent for cheap in a slightly crappy, mixed residential-commercial building.

It was the afternoon, when the sun beats down on my office and turns it into an oven. So I [...]

On Some Nights, Nowhere Is Safe

The other night there was a big Fútbol game and the whole world had gone to hell. It was late, the apes had taken over the streets, and I had to find me a taxi and get the fuck out of dodge. As you can see, I’m a huge Fútbol fan. Call me crazy, but [...]

Undeserving of Immigrants

So last Sunday I walk into the Pakistani-run convenience store in my neighborhood. This place has everything from gourmet, hand-cut squid ink fetuccine to Thai peanut sauce. There’s something from nearly every culture in the world, and it’s more than awesome in a pinch, when every goddamn thing in Spain is closed on [...]

Fear & Loathing on Las Ramblas

Sometimes, the shit that goes down on The Ramblas is better than TeeVee!

A little background: first I passed Mayor Hereu giving an interview to for television cameras. He looked rather defensive… as if he were trying to dodge the blame for the present state of The Ramblas. I took out my camera to film it, [...]

Thanks, Vandalism!

It gives lazy bloggers like me some nice material in a pinch.

By the way, why hasn’t the painted or prosthetic mustache caught on as a fad with women? I always enjoy wearing them in my shows. Maybe I should try it in my daily life and see if it catches on. It might seem far-fetched [...]

Mr. Tacos Makes Worm Disappear

Talent runs in the family: watch my cat Mr. Tacos and his amazing Disappearing Worm Trick!

Semana Santa

Well, it’s Semana Santa, whatever the hell that is, and the world’s afire with especially pious energy here in Barcelona. Well, maybe not the whole world, but definitely one segment of it is.

I am referring, of course, to the viej@s choch@s.

I noticed it when I went to the droguería (for some reason, in this country [...]

The Saddest Painting on Earth