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The Blair Witch Taco

Sorry if the scar is shocking. I’m used to seeing it by now.

Mr. Tacos has this way of choosing the most unpicturesque places to stare at. His favorites tend to be empty corners, blank walls, extension cords and abutting furniture.

Here he is, at it again:

Mr. Tacos Is Doing Better, Thank You

Thanks so much for the kind words and thoughts regarding Mr. Tacos. He wasn’t looking so well yesterday so I took him back to the vet, but she said he’s just fine and his wound is clean and healing nicely. I’m especially grateful for the advice a few of you gave me about the ergonomic [...]

Mr. Tacos Se Está Lamiendo el Cono

On Tuesday my dear darling cabbit (half-cat, half-rabbit) Mr. Tacos had a massive surgery to remove a big nodule from his back. They don’t know what the hell it is, and we’ve got to wait for the biopsy. Meanwhile, he’s got this huge scar running diagonally across his back, plus a cone around his head [...]

También pasa en Madrid

En mi show de comedia, hablo de las señoras que andan conectadas por el codo. Toda una experiencia exótica para una persona de EE.UU., en donde la gente no suele andar la por la calle, ni suele haber ancian@s a la vista.

Cuando llegué a Barcelona, pensaba que esta curiosidad igual era algo propio de [...]

Another Day, Another Dumbass

The doorbell just rang. I look through the peep-hole…

Same thing as always: a nervous-looking guy. “Who is it?” I say through the door in a tired voice, because this has happened enough times that I know exactly who it is.

“I’m here for a massage?” he half-whispers uncertainly.

“You’ve made a mistake. This is a residence.”

Without missing [...]

Otro día, otro inútil despistado

Acaba de sonar el timbre de mi casa. Miro por la mirilla…

Lo de siempre: un tío con cara nerviosa.

“Quíen es?” digo por la puerta con voz cansada, porque sé exactamente quién es.

“Vengo para un masaje?” dice con un medio-susurro.

“Usted se ha equivocado. Ésta es una casa.”

“Qué piso es?” pregunta el tío.

Esto es el colmo.

“Qué cojones [...]

Ulysses and The Shawarma Man

Last night I had plans to see a movie. I didn’t have time to make dinner at home, so on my way there I stopped at a döner kebab.

It was empty and the proprietor was nowhere in sight. The only noise came from the Tee-Vee, loudly blaring the fútbol game. There was a sad, desolate [...]

El coñazo de la libertad

Escribí algo nuevo sobre la libertad de expresión y el costumbre del debate. Lo encontrarás aquí.

The Blair Witch Prostitute

The other day I left my apartment and pressed the button for the elevator. As it lowered down to my floor, I could hear the distinct South American accents of the girls who work in the massage parlors throughout the building. As far as friendliness, they’re a mixed bag: some say hello, some even smile; [...]

La Política Lingüística vs. R-n-R, Pt. 2: Cesar Martin

Aquí tenemos una cosa inédita en este blog: un “guest post”. Es algo que he querido hacer durante tiempo (y cómo no, si me quita trabajo de encima? ), pero no ha sucedido hasta ahora. Más especial aún es que el autor de este post es el director de Popular 1, Cesar Martin. Gracias, [...]